Everyone who has NOT seen Fight Club, raise your hands. Guess what? Me neither!
But, I hear that it's the epitome of male bonding movies (I also hear that Brad Pitt just mumbles alot and goes shirtless, but really when you're looking at Brad Pitt do you really care what he has to say?!?) Apparently, nothing says male bonding like bare knuckles brawling. Who knew?!?
I also hear that they have a bunch of rules. So, of course I had to check them out. They are (and I quote):
1) First rule of fight club - you don't talk about fight club.
2) Second rule of fight club - you DON'T talk about fight club.
3) When someone says stop or goes limp, even if he's just faking it, the fight is over.
4) Only two guys to a fight.
5) One fight at a time.
6) They fight without shirts or shoes.
7) The fights go on as long as they have to.
8) If this is your first night at fight club, you have to fight.
Wait. Is this fight club or is this marriage? I've seen the Monarch go limp when we have a disagreement - did that mean that the fight was over?!?
Anyway, this got me to thinking about rules for Kalyna's Kitchen. I think the first two are obvious.
First rule of Kalyna's Kitchen - you don't question Kalyna in her kitchen.
Second rule of Kalyna's Kitchen - you DON'T question Kalyna in her kitchen (duh!).
Rule #3 - If Kalyna faints from exhaustion (even if she's faking it), the cooking stops and call for take-out.
Rule #4 -Only two desserts allowed per meal (the Monarch will like this rule!).
Rule #5 -Only one person in the space-challenged kichen at a time. Otherwise, a fight really may break out.
Rule #6 -ALWAYS wear a shirt when in Kalyna's Kitchen. ALWAYS!
Rule #7 - The dish cooks/bakes for as long as it has to. !$(!$*% the recipe!
Rule #8 - If this is your first night at Kalyna's Kitchen, you have to do the dishes.
Sounds fair, no?
How about one more rule? Rule #9- If you're going to watch Fight Club, you should be eating ribs. Seems like a fight club kind of food. Good. We're agreed. Scroll below for the ribs then.
PS - The Monarch says I really, really have to watch this movie. (OK. He only said one really.) Guess what I'll be doing this weekend.....
Ribs (adapted from Mad Hungry: Feeding Men and Boys)
2 racks baby back or pork spareribs (about 4 lbs)
coarse salt and freshly ground black pepper
2 teaspoons sweet paprika
1/2 teaspoon smoked Spanish paprika
1 teaspoon dried sage
1/2 teaspoon ground cinammon
1/2 teaspoon ground cumin
1/4 teaspoon cayenne pepper
2 tablespoons granulated brown sugar
1) In a small bowl, combine the coarse salt, pepper, sweet and smoked paprikas, dried sage, cinnamon, cumin, cayenne pepper and brown sugar.
2) Rub the mixture into the ribs and refrigerate for at least 2 hours. Bring to room temperature before cooking.
3) Preheat oven to 325F. Cover pan with aluminum foil. Cook the ribs for 2 to 3 hours. Check every 30 minutes and turn ribs over. Spoon any juices over them. If not too dry, uncover for last 10-15 minutes to brown and crisp a little.
*I made more rub than what is indicated and saved the rest in a covered jar in time for another boys' movie.